Dr. John Townsend

Dr. John Townsend and his team offer executive coaching, corporate consulting, and leadership training in a variety or programs. Join us today!

Archives for November 2017

Key Essential Skills in Life

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When looking at neuroscience and performance research, I find two groups of skills sets are necessary for success in life.

The first is “task skills.” These are the “doing” aspects, like making goals and forging a path to success.

The second is “people skills.” These are the “relating” aspects, which center on creating inspiration and healthy culture for those around you.

As research continues to come out, it is increasingly important for you to learn several specific “people abilities” which drive everything:

Here are the Top 3:

  1. Listening well: All too often, we let people talk. But in our minds, we are formulating our response to them before they are finished. I often have my clients paraphrase what others are saying, asking, “Do I get your point of view now,” before they respond.
  2. Being vulnerable: Many times, we want to put up a shield so as not to show weakness. However, we find people are actually drawn more to a person who is open about their weaknesses and failures.
  3. Being direct: This is the ability, to be honest and emotionally present at the same time. It is more difficult than you think. Learn to keep your eye contact and your connectedness, even during the tough talks.

Let us help you forge your own path to professional or personal success.

 

The Secret of the Two Types of Pain

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Pain, or discomfort, is a normal part of life. For example, it’s painful and uncomfortable to deal with:

  • Interpersonal conflicts
  • Family issues
  • Professional conflicts, including stress and miscommunications
  • The demands of everyday life
  • Grief

The list goes on. But, those who have discovered the secret of understanding and dealing with the two types of pain are more likely to be successful.

Things will go much smoother once you are able to deal with discomfort.

I talk about these ideas for leaders in my book, “The Entitlement Cure:”

Symptom Pain: A challenge must be addressed, which makes you uncomfortable. It is a symptom with a cause underneath it, just the way a fever is the symptom of an infection, and the way a lit-up oil gauge is the symptom of an engine problem. The function of symptom pain is simply to let you know it’s time to figure out what’s really going on. The items I referenced above are symptoms. They bother us and take our attention, but they are driven by something deeper. When you feel something wrong in your gut, you can then transition that feeling to the second kind of pain, ‘success pain’.

Success Pain: Success pain is discomfort from doing whatever it takes to root out the cause of the symptom to break down what is really going on? It is uncomfortable to take antibiotics, take time off from work when they need you at the office, or to modify your food intake and activities. But, that resolves the fever. It is uncomfortable to take your car to the mechanic, get a rental for the day, and pay for the cost of repairing the engine. But, that is the only way to get your car fixed.

It is painful to do the work to figure out what the real root of the problem is. It is also uncomfortable and takes significant energy to then figure out what’s happening. However, that sort of investment will pay off in time.