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Dr. John Townsend

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Archives for December 2018

Making Self Care a Priority

December 27, 2018 by sgadmin Leave a Comment

We all know that working out, eating right and getting enough sleep are good and important things.  The research and so many magazine articles tell us this, in so many ways.  But almost all of us struggle with getting this done on a consistent, long-term basis.  It can be frustrating and discouraging to not feel good about your self-care.  Here are some tips to help make this a priority that actually happens in the long run.

Write down a self-care vision for yourself that is based on a successful year. We all need to be inspired to make changes by a great vision.  Here’s an example:  “By the end of 2019, I see myself doing what it takes to  weigh X pounds, feel more energy and having more positivity.”

Get a support system of people who believe in you.  The longer you have been struggling with making changes in some area, the more your brain is wired to fail and be discouraged, it’s what you are used to.  That’s why you need a few people to meet with you, encourage and keep you accountable to being the best you can be.

List the usual suspects of distractions.  Sometimes we don’t make self care a priority because life gets us off track:   family concerns, job issues, health issues, too much social media time, etc.  But there’s a difference between a true crisis and something we can reschedule or change.  Make a list of the things that have derailed you and work out the difference between the unavoidable and the avoidable.  This will clarify you in your head.

Make a calendar.  We tend to do what is physically on the calendar.  Calendarizing makes a priority of the events that have to happen to make the vision happen:  what days and times you will work out, when you will go to what meetings, etc.  Put it in your smartphone and on your fridge.

A priority is something that stays in our life and our mind, front and center.  Best to you this next year!

John Townsend, Ph.D.

Filed Under: Growth

Preventing Burnout

December 20, 2018 by sgadmin Leave a Comment

We live in a burnout culture.  How many people in your life talk about running out of energy, losing motivation, and being “out of gas”?    This might even be your own situation as well.  Burnout is a very real problem, and it can be serious.  People lose job growth, relationship success, emotional health and physical wellness with burnout.  Let’s look at some ways to nip burnout in the bud and to have a healthy balanced life.

Take a realistic look at how you are doing.  Just ask yourself if you tend to have problems getting up in the morning, dragging in the day or having a positive attitude.  If you are great in all of these, God bless you!  But if you experience these, you could be at risk for early-stage burnout.  So many of us have to almost be in ICU to do something about burnout, so respect these little signs before they become big signs.

Add the “vital” and prune back the “not vital.”   And before you’re into burnout territory, get out that calendar and figure out what a 5 day week with nights off will look like (with a few exceptions that must be justified).  Most of the time, that means adding rest, time with people who are gains and not drains, fun and meaningful activities.  And to make time for that, then “not vital” activities need to be lessened, for example, too much time with the draining folks, social media, tv, and gaming.  This creates a good balance in the schedule.

Take the attitude that “healthy selfish” is OK.  It’s, unfortunately, true that no one is having a “protect you from burnout” meeting for your benefit right now.  You have to own and value this.  But healthy selfishness isn’t about being self-centered or narcissistic or not being concerned with others.  It’s about understanding that you can’t have a full life, give to others and make a difference in the world for a long, long time if you don’t keep burnout at bay.  So say “no” to demands on your time and energy that you just don’t have the bandwidth for.  The right people will support you, and the wrong ones will just go away and make someone else feel guilty.

There’s something you can today about burnout, and this works!  Best to you.

John Townsend, Ph.D.

Filed Under: Boundaries, Growth

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