Articles

People Fuel: Fill Up Your Tank for Life, Love and Leadership

July 17, 2019 by Dr. John Townsend Leave a Comment

We all need more energy, the vitality that helps us stay motivated, focused and productive in life. We know we receive energy from good nutrition, along with working out, adequate sleep and maintaining positivity. But there is another major source for the energy we need: having the right kinds of relationships with others. Not the ones that drain us, but the
ones that refuel us.

My just-released book People Fuel shows you how we need the fuel of “Relational Nutrients” from others, and, in turn we can then provide them to others. Our bodies require physical nutrients to stay healthy. If we don’t take enough iron, we can develop anemia. Too little calcium can lead to bone disease. In the same way, the book identifies the key Relational Nutrients that we need. As we experience these critical elements from others, we grow mentally and emotionally more sharp and healthy. And as we give these elements back, others benefit as well.

Finally, People Fuel details the specific types of people who can either be energy “gains” or energy “drains”, and gives concrete steps to help you cultivate relationships with those who will help you be all you were meant to be. On the first day of its release on June 25, the book was a double #1 on Amazon, in the categories of Christian Business and Professional Growth, and also in Christian Self Help.

Also, you can have a free download of the Relational Nutrients card, either digitally for your smartphone, or for printing out a hard copy. Just go to relationalnutrients.com. I hope you find steps and solutions for your own energy through People Fuel!

Best, John

The Life Team: Your Source for Health and Growth

July 8, 2019 by Dr. John Townsend Leave a Comment

Most of us have lots of friends. But most of us aren’t getting the most out of our relationships, at least for what it takes to be the best person we can be, to grow and to maximize our lives. That’s where the Life Team concept comes in. This article will give you the steps to develop this powerful tool for growth.

In my just-released book People Fuel, I describe what a Life Team is. Simply put, it’s between 3-10 individuals with whom you engage on some sort of regular basis, and where the purpose is to support each others’ mutual growth. You can meet in a group, you can meet individually, or both. But the desired outcome is self-improvement in life, personal health, emotional growth, relationships, career and spiritual growth. All of what really matters!

There are 8 qualities a Life Team member needs to have, to make this all work. Here they are:

1. Shared essential values. You don’t need to have every life value be identical to yours, that can be too samey. But a basic similar lens on how you look at life.

2. Calendarized engagement in personal growth. A Life Team has a structure. “See you when I see you, bye”, in our busy world, means probably a long random time from now. But real growth requires committing to a calendar schedule and actually talking. It can just be a sharing of life’s highs and lows, a study of the Bible or a good book, or supporting and problem solving about your challenges.

3. A stance of “for” each other, with no judgment. Judgment prevents growth, it’s just that simple. When we are judged, we either retreat or push back. Nothing good happens. “For” means the Life Team members always want the best for each other, no matter what.

4. Vulnerability. We change when we are open and vulnerable about how we really are: our losses, hurts, mistakes and shame. To be fully optimized, we must be fully loved. And to be fully loved, we must be fully known.

5. Truthfulness. Members don’t avoid the hard conversations. They don’t let each other make costly mistakes in life, relationships, family or business without giving each other caring but direct feedback.

6. Mutuality. Everyone’s in this together. You’re all growing, and all vulnerable. It’s not about one person constantly bringing their problems to others for help. That’s more of being a service to that person. Instead, it’s a shifting and mutual arrangement of needs and support, back and forth, for each other.

7. Chemistry. The intangible. You have to feel some sort of “liking” for Life Team members. If the chemistry isn’t there, you begin to dread the conversations as a “well, it’s good for me”, instead of a “I can’t wait to have lunch with her.”

8. Availability. The members need to be around enough to make a difference. To do enough good to make the effort worth it, I recommend a minimum of at least one meaningful conversation a month. Life just gets better with a Life Team. For more information, read People Fuel, and best to
you.

John

Relational Nutrients: What You Need from Others, and What You Can Provide to Others

June 28, 2019 by Dr. John Townsend

We all need energy and clarity, for our families and our work. We know that the right nutrition, sleep, workouts and a positive attitude are part of the equation for energy and clarity. However, neuroscience research now shows that the quality of our relationships plays a major part in this as well.

This article will show you what great things you need from others, and what you can also provide to others. In my just-released book People Fuel (https://www.amazon.com/People-Fuel-Fill-Your Leadership/dp/0310346592/ref=tmm_hrd_swatch_0_encoding=UTF8&qid=1561127089&sr=8-2), I use the parallel of how our bodies need bionutrients, such as vitamins and minerals, to stay healthy and active. If you don’t have enough calcium, for example, you risk osteoporosis. If you lack sufficient iron, you can become anemic.

In the same way, I use the term relational nutrients to describe how we keep each other energetic, clear and vital via what we provide to each other. However, instead of taking a supplement capsule, the nutrients are delivered from brain-to-brain by meaningful conversations: face to face, phone, text and videos.

If we don’t intake the necessary relational nutrients, and at the right times, we can lose energy, have mood problems and not be as effective and productive as we could be. There are 22 nutrients, grouped into 4 Quadrants, which makes it simple to understand and use. Here are the Quadrants:

Quadrant 1: Be Present. Sometimes we just need someone to “be there” for us, and with us, when we are having a challenge. Being present means that the person is interested, engaged, listening well and tuned in to our emotional state. If you’ve ever been overwhelmed and upset, and have someone give you lots of advice instead of just “being there” with you, you know what this means.

Quadrant 2: Convey the Good. When we’ve had a struggle or a failure, it’s easy for us to become discouraged or “out of gas.” The relational nutrients in this Quadrant provide encouragement, respect and affirmation for us.

Quadrant 3: Provide Reality. If you’ve ever had a complicated relationship or work problem, you know how much you need insight, perspective or feedback from another. Those conversations which get to the “Why” of our challenge are enlightening and clarifying for us.

Quadrant 4: Call to Action. Sometimes we need someone to help us get off our butts and take some practical step! That might mean advice to make a plan, or have a conversation we’ve been avoiding, or take a needed risk.

You can download a free digital table of the 22 relational nutrients in the 4
Quadrants, by simply going to relationalnutrients.com and accessing it. Or you can print a hard copy for yourself, whichever works for you.
The right nutrients from others, and to others, may be the missing piece for you.

Best,

John

Learning: The Key to Sustainability – By Elaine Morris

June 14, 2019 by Dr. John Townsend Leave a Comment

What does working smarter have to do with learning? Sometimes, we just get into a rut, doing the same things over and over again, even when it’s not working.

As the story goes, a young man was working very hard sawing a huge pile of wood. His efforts were doubled because he was using a dull-edged saw. The old farmer walked up to him and advised him to stop what he was doing to sharpen the saw. He quickly replied, “Oh I don’t have time.” Of course, it’s obvious in this simple example that taking the time to go sharpen the saw would make the young man’s work much more efficient and effective. Yet how many times do we keep using a dull saw and feel frustrated that the results are not what we want?

A fifty-something, bottom-line-driven company president engaged in an executive coaching program. He had recently tripled the size of his company and I had been working with him on how to manage the growing pains that kind of rapid growth produces. He was reluctant to include a 360 Emotional Intelligence (EQ) assessment as part of his program at first. However, what he learned from the feedback led him to completely change his strategy.

Rather than focusing so much time on his marketing campaign and internal processes, he began spending more time in the field with his top people. Listening to their challenges, partnering with them in solving issues, and systematically building their skills increased his leadership team’s capacity. Later, his comments surprised me: “It was exciting. I started growing again… I realized I had quit learning.” Research backs this up, as outlined in the book, Leadership Sustainability by Dave Ulrich and Norm Smallwood.

There are five distinct yet interrelated roles of a leader: strategist, executor, talent manager, human capital developer and personal proficiency. The authors found that of these five roles, the last one is the key to sustainability. It’s about continuous improvement as an individual. Without an actively generated learning curve, a leader’s ability to use the rest of his skills to guide organization growth withers. One added bonus: when a leader engages in their own personal growth, they bring new passion and energy to work each day. Since emotions are contagious, this has a positive impact on the culture.

What are you learning this year?

Elaine Morris, TLP Director

My Epiphany – By Craig Kautsch

June 14, 2019 by Dr. John Townsend Leave a Comment

I remember it vividly. I was 31 years old and the retail business that I built from the ground up just failed. I had a custom house in the country on 8 acres, two kids on the ground and a stay at home wife. All the work, all the effort, all the dreams….gone. I built the retail empire throughout my 20s to millions in sales and three locations. I donned the cover of the local business publications as the up and comer entrepreneur. I thought I was the cat’s a#%…right up until I wasn’t.

I began weeping uncontrollably driving into town to close the last store. I pulled off the highway because I couldn’t see or breathe. Facing the heaviness and embarrassment of 1.7 million in bad debt was more weight than I could handle. I knew this was an inflection point for me. I wiped the tears from my eyes and got back on the highway. I grit my teeth and clenched my fists for the next 8 years to pay it all off through my new real estate investment company.

But I was still afraid for some reason.

Once I could see more clearly and was no longer in survival mode, I noticed some of the same patterns showing up that caused the first failure. I couldn’t pinpoint the underlying reasons but I could clearly see some of the behaviors and outcomes that seemed chillingly familiar. My epiphany? There was one common denominator in both scenarios…ME!

My desire was to avoid the same path to destruction and I was sensing familiar patterns. Patterns of isolation, imbalance, frustration, and an inability to see and embrace reality. I knew I couldn’t solve this on my own because I’ve been down that path.

What did I do about it? I joined a TLP group! I learned of TLP through one of my best friends and saw significant changes in him. He was course correcting and going in a new direction, a better direction, the direction I wanted. If it was working for him why couldn’t it work for me?

TLP helped me discover three things that changed my life and business forever.

1. How to recognize my blind spots and work on them in a safe environment.

1. How to the get the people fuel I need to consistently operate at my highest level

How to truly connect which has made me a magnetic leader that people are eager to follow.

Fast forward 4 years and my level of growth is exploding through the TLP experience. Transitioning from being in a TLP group to being a TLP director has had a significant impact on me. Having almost 80 employees keeps me very busy but my passion project of facilitating a TLP group has been a key part of my growth.

Nothing makes me more excited than to watch isolated leaders begin to see the light. Walking alongside them while their capacity to execute on their vision expands. Witnessing their entire organization and family life go to new places because they were able to unlock their potential is exhilarating! It feels like a rebirth for the second half of my life and a launchpad to lead leaders. The TLP experience has both immediate and eternal upside!

Craig Kautsch

TLP Director

Corrected Vision – by Dale Bacon

March 21, 2019 by Dr. John Townsend Leave a Comment

My grandfather had challenges with his vision. By the time he was in his early nineties (he lived to be 100), cataracts had formed on his eyes to the point that he could hardly see. He needed a HUGE magnifying glass to read the newspaper. His doctor encouraged him to get eye surgery to correct his vision. The day after the procedure, I observed him sitting at the kitchen table reading the smallest print he could find: the phone book.

Up until a few years ago, my father had challenges with his vision. From my earliest memory, I had never seen my father without his glasses. His doctor encouraged him to get laser surgery and today, when I see my dad, I see a different person than I did for most of my life. He doesn’t wear glasses anymore. His vision has been corrected.

Sometimes leaders have challenges with their “people vision.” Instead of seeing people as God sees them, we can start seeing people as immature, problematic, and frustrating. And we can be tempted to try to “fix” them with a one-size-fits-all solution.

The truth is, God has created each person unique. We cannot approach our employees or team with a one-size-fits-all solution because one size simply won’t fit. Accepting the truth that each person is unique is the first step to correcting your “people vision.”

The next step is to accept that God has placed them in your care. You are their guide. You are their encourager. You are their leader.

People can feel taxing. But God doesn’t look at them that way. He looks at them for what He has planned for them (life and growth). And He’s asking you to see them the same way.

Lead Well.

Dale Bacon

TLP Director