Dr. John Townsend

Leaders who are frank, candid and honest are sometimes called harsh, critical or cold.  While no leader should be the latter, there is a great deal of value in being a truthful leader, while also being a warm person.  In the video below, I discuss how organizations benefit and perform better when the leader is honest.

Video footage courtesy of Fellowship of Companies for Christ International (FCCI).

Teams and organizations benefit and perform better when the leader is honest.  After all, truthfulness is simply being aligned with reality.  When reality is avoided or “spun”, the organization, by definition, is psychotic.  It has broken from reality.  It is not anchored in what is fact and true.   And the fruit is not good fruit.  So be a leader who lives in, and conveys honesty, and everyone wins.  Here are some tips that will help you:

• Be the first one to deliver tough info.  The message may be about your organization’s performance problem,  financial challenge, or a personnel issue.  But don’t have someone else deliver it for you, and above all don’t wait until people come to you to find out the info.  Teams and employees feel secure when they know their leader will be calling or visiting them to tell them something that is difficult.  When a courier says it, or when they have to contact you, they lose faith and trust.
• Be the first to admit your own mistakes.  We all fail, and sometimes leaders fail spectacularly!  But don’t have someone have to ask you about your failure, or have to learn it from the break room gossip.  Go to your people and tell them as soon as possible that you dropped the ball.  It will not be fun, but your healthy people will respect you more.  A client of mine avoided telling one of his employees that she was not getting the bonus she expected, because he dreaded her response.  Finally, he went to her and told her two things:  she wasn’t getting the money she anticipated, and why, and why he had waited so long to tell her.  She did not enjoy the talk, but she respected him and his ownership.
• Inspire without derailing.  Good leaders vision their people and get them inspired to accomplish great things.  At the same time, don’t let your inspiration cause you to promise things that won’t happen, or deceive people for what they will be receiving.  Get them excited, but only promise what you will deliver to them.
• Say “no” on a regular basis. As a leader, you want your troops to be happy and positive.  You like them and you know a positive environment lends itself to higher performance.  It is often a temptation, when they ask you for time you don’t have, resources you can’t allocate, or permission you don’t want to give, to avoid saying no, or letting them down easy over time.  I even had one CEO whose team told me that when she said “I don’t know”, they had learned that she meant “no”, and that was not a good thing!  Instead, make a clear, respectful and full  eye-contact “no” a normal part of your day.  Normalize it, and your people will have clarity.

Ultimately, honesty wins in the long run.  Best to your leadership.

 

Leaders often have a struggle letting go, winding down, checking out and truly engaging in the holiday and “being there.” There are end-of-year financials, projections, plans for the next year, and projects to get closure on.  I’m sure you have heard something like the following words in January:  “We didn’t get all of you, you were still hooked in to work.  You disappeared for hours on your laptop.”  I have heard these words, and felt bad for my family and myself.

You need to really unplug during this Christmas for you, them and the season.  You’ll have more energy, creativity and mojo if you do these simple steps.  They have worked for me.

• Be part of the Christmas planning.  We engage in the things that we have taken responsibility for.  You are far more likely to “be present” at shows, ski trips, restaurants or family times around the tree, when you have had a part in planning them.  Don’t delegate it to your spouse.  You’ll end up being less intensely involved.  Take a leadership role in your family, have the brainstorming meeting, and do the logistics.  If you have a tough time with boundaries during the holidays please find a tip for dealing with tough relatives in the video below.

• Differentiate between important business priorities and a desire for closure.  Leaders have a tendency toward an obsessive need for closure.  They feel they must finish a task just because it is unfinished, not because it is critical.  It gnaws at them until they write it, or do the numbers, or make the call.  But be strict on yourself.  Tolerate the tension of things that can in reality go undone until you get back from the holidays.  You’ll get more used to it every day during the season.
• Have as many no-email/business text/business phone call days as possible.  Shoot for the whole holiday.  But if you have to have to have to check email, don’t do a little every day.  That dilutes your attention.  Check it every third day.  You will be able to relax, hang out, and love the people who love you.
• Tell the people you are with that this year will be different, and you will be accountable to them. People are impacted by your presence, absence, or half-presence.  They will remember great laughs, sentimental moments and vulnerable conversations much longer during the year than that business project that could have waited.  Give them permission to help, so that if you cheat, they can say, “OK, put the laptop/smartphone up and sit in the chair and talk to us.”
• Have a vulnerable conversation with the people that matter.  Christmas is a great time to tell people you love how much they mean to you, to affirm who they are in their character, and to talk about faith and God.  It will count and will stick with you and them.

I am grateful to all of you this year.  Merry Christmas from myself, from Cloud-Townsend Resources, from the Townsend Institute of Leadership and Counseling, and from Townsend Leadership Program!

 

Leaders must have the skill of having problem solving talks and conducting them successfully.  This is not an easy thing to do, but it is important and valuable.  In fact, some of the best gains that can happen in an organization can happen at a tough talk, when people are honest, direct and still respectful of each other.  Problems are solved, and solutions are followed.

When I train executive and management teams, I set them up with “rules of engagement” when there is a specific conflict or problem, to keep the process going.  I present them, we discuss them and make sure everyone understands and buys in, and things work more seamlessly.  Here are some of the basic rules for leadership that will help you:

1. The leader presents the issue and the desired outcome.  This is the leader’s job, and it keeps things focused, for example, “Sales have been slow, and there is conflict over the problem.  Some people say it’s the sales department, some say it’s fulfillment and some say it’s marketing.  We are going to get input from everyone, find reality, and come up with solutions that work.”
2. Everyone commits to a solution that is for the good of the company as a whole.  Ask the players to agree that, as much as possible, they will stay away from protecting their turf, and engage with thinking that is for the best idea that guards the mission of the company.  Simply saying this helps people to be more objective.
3. Everyone presents their side without interruption.  No ifs, ands or but.  Everybody gets their opinion out there.
4. In order to provide a response, the person must first paraphrase the previous person’s comments to that person’s satisfaction.  In other words, you don’t go ahead until the person says, “Yes, you understand my point of view.”  I can’t emphasize how important this is.  Too many meetings are just a sequence of people saying “Well I think X” and “Well, I think Y”, and there is simply no connection between the thoughts.  Here’s how it would look:  “Sandra, I hear you saying that marketing has been unclear in its strategy, and that has led to the sales slump.  Do I get it?”  Sandra:  “No, that’s not really what I was saying”, and you try again.  This tip will save you hours and hours of time!
5. Someone is a timekeeper.  When there is no time structure, meetings can go way too long.  Estimate what this decision will take:  “I think we should be able to have a solution in 30 minutes, let’s go.”  Our brains respond to structure like this.
6. During the last third of the time, press for solutions.  Even if you don’t have 100% of the info and discussion done, as long as most of it is done, start saying, “OK, what is our best solution for this?”  Don’t get lost in the paralysis of analysis.

Problem solving talks are a permanent reality for every leader.  Learn and execute these skills.

If your meeting gets off track, there are 6 words you can use to redirect the group. The video below reveals these words:

 

As a leader,  your attention is one of your most valuable assets.  You have to focus on the strategic plan when everyone else is in the weeds.  You have to put your attention on developing leadership and teams even when there is a crisis, to prevent future crises.  Basically, what holds your attention will drive your results.

One psychological tendency that most leaders struggle with is a vulnerability to the wrong attention-grabbers.  These attention grabbers compete for your time and energy, and they can be pretty vocal!  But they can drag you into a black hole of non productivity,  if you let them.  Here are a few of them:

• Crises that never get fixed for good.
• Tactical behaviors that solve little problems, instead of strategic and aligned behaviors that drive growth.
• People who just can’t  be pleased no matter what you do.
• A focus on lag indicators instead of on lead indicators.
• “Spacing out” time when you are just so done with it all that your brain puts its attention on actually not paying attention.  It just shuts down.

These attention grabbers won’t all go away, they are just part of organizational life.  So here are some tips for dealing with their presence, and yet keeping your attention on where you really need to focus.

1. Start every work day, for 15 minutes, with your office door closed and a review of what you need to accomplish for that day.  This has to do with some of the neuroscience research that indicates that our brain is looking for a path and a structure.  If that is in your mind from the beginning of the day, your mind will latch on to that and you’ll be less prone to get derailed.
2. Create structured “other” time during the day.   Allow dedicated “whatever” times during the day, say in the am and in the afternoon.  These are times when people can bring you crises, you can take phone calls that are important, and you can catch up on matters. If you structure this time, you are more likely to not go over the time limit, thus being in control of your own agenda.
3. Ten seconds. When an attention grabber comes your way, use this simple technique:  give yourself 10 seconds before you answer the question, commit your time, fix the problem, repair the break or advise the next step.  That 10 seconds will get you out of your limbic “fight or flight” brain, and engage your higher executive functions.  And the higher functions will have a chance to evaluate and ask, “Is this really the best use of my attention right now?”
4. Never forget this saying:  just because someone is screaming, it doesn’t mean that something bad is happening.  Have compassion for the urgent issues and people’s discomfort.  But be governed by your vision and your values, and nothing else.

 

Best to your leadership!

Two of the most important elements of leadership are competence and character. They are vital, and they play an important relationship to each other as well.

Competence. Competence has to do with your skill sets. They are those special abilities you have which help you clarify where you can best invest your time and energy. Here are a few of the key ones:

• Visioning: The ability to see the big picture in the future, and create it from nothing.
• Strategizing: Being able to think through the plan of what will get the organization from beginning to goal.
• Relating: Connecting with others, to create trust with them, direct them and develop them.
• Executing: The operations gift, which is the ability to simply make sure that what needs to be done, really gets done.
• Technical: Often, a leader will also have some skill set that isn’t about leadership, but is important to an organization. For example, you may be an engineer, a scientist , a teacher or an artist. This gives you a deep bucket that can also be useful as you lead.

You may not have a natural gift in a competence, but simply work hard at doing a good job at it. If your job requires this, go for it. But the best scenario is to combine talent with development.

Character. Character is often seen as having integrity, being honest and being reliable. It is all of those, but it is broader than that. I define character as that set of capacities the leader needs to meet the demands of reality. That is, leadership has its demands: running the organization, making sure people are in their proper places, connecting with them, dealing with finances, sales, marketing, administration, and so forth. You need strong fiber. Leaders with character know how to connect well; they are clear in their responsibilities; they can handle problems and negative realities; and they are clear about their own role and mission.

Their connection. Finally, these two elements rest on each other. You must have both. A person who has character and the wrong competence will not be effective. And an individual who has competence and a character problem can ruin the culture of an organization. However, always start with character. It is the core of your being. And if your character is working, you will naturally be inclined to find the best fit for your competencies. Character drives us to growth, and that growth includes finding where your talents lie.

Recently, I was talking to a friend who is a successful businessman. He mentioned that he had sold one business, and was looking at another venture to become involved in. Knowing that he was a very competent person, I asked him how he was going about it. Did he hire a consultant, do a web search, or what? He said, “Well, actually I have been very busy with this. I have been doing a lot!” Here are some of the things he was doing. He:

• Created an analysis of how much he was willing to invest in terms of money, time and energy, and what the geographic parameters were. For example, he didn’t want to move, so it had to be something that was local, or web-based, or that he could easily fly to, but not too often.
• Called several very successful friends and asked them if they were aware of any interesting opportunities.
• Did a web search on various industries and new businesses.
• Found an industry that seemed to have potential and that he thought he might enjoy.
• Went to their conventions and association meetings as a learner, and listened and asked a great deal of questions.
• Found some successful experts who were in that field, and met with them several times to go deeper.
• Took a hard look at the downsides, risks, and competition. Took a break from the research and got away from it so that he wouldn’t lose perspective and get too much of a myopic view of the opportunity.
• As it was a retail venture, he drove around and visited ongoing sites to see what he could learn in the moment. He actually found that his future competitors were willing to tell him lots of helpful information! People in the same industry often have affiliate relationships, with a lot in common.
• Went to the county offices and got a great deal of information that is public record, which helped him to further figure if this would work.Drove around some more and looked at potential sites for the business and how those particular locations would need what kind of marketing, advertising and services that would be a good fit.
• Did projections on where the industry would be in 3,5 and 10 years, and decided on his plans of when to sell the business.

There were many more tasks that he did. When I asked him how long he had been working on this project, it was over a year. It did not take up all his time, but he was always, almost every day, doing something about it. And at this point, he had green-lighted the concept, and had started the new company.

There is a lot to learn from this man’s style. He did not rush into a deal because it had a lot of heat, and was the flavor of the month. Instead, he scoured all aspects of the industry and that particular opportunity. He did his homework. Here are some ways for you to use this approach in your own work and ministry. This doesn’t have to be about going into a new field, or starting a new project. It could also be concerned with unpacking how your own job, department, company, church or ministry is performing, and changes that could improve things.

Realize that the person who cares the most needs to do the most work. That is, be the bottom line. You are the person who is most invested in the research question, so budget your time and energy to make sure that you are taking the initiative to keep driving things. This doesn’t mean that you have to actually do all the elbow grease. You may be assigning people to various parts of the task, but you are making the calls and emails to keep getting updates.

Too much information is better than too little. Spend the time to get the facts, and even facts you may not think you need. You will be surprised how valuable it may be at a meeting when someone says, “What about the demographics of the neighborhood” and you have a file that spits it out that you didn’t think was that helpful at the time. This research phase will be the most intensive fact-finding period of the whole project, so get it all done now, rather than having to ramp up later. There certainly is such a thing as too much information, but lean toward that direction of “more better than less.”

Be willing to walk away. It is a reality that most research projects about questions and new opportunities don’t end up as something people actually end up doing. That is the nature of the beast. That is why you are analyzing and fact-finding. Be aware of the tendency that some people have to become so excited and attached to a new idea that they fill in the blank spaces with positive interpretations of negative realities. They end up investing in something that will not pay off, because they were not willing to walk away.

Listen to the right people. By this I mean that you want to pay attention to people who know about your research and interest, who are both neutral about the direction, but positive about you. That is, their primary concern is to protect your welfare. They are not invested in going for the idea, or against it. So you need to make these people those you listen to the most.

Be diligent and patient. Success comes from spending time showing up, and doing the right thing, sometimes over and over again, over time. This isn’t a miracle, and it is often tiresome, but it works. It is also the mark of an adult. Some leaders have character issues that cause them to give up quickly if the ducks don’t fall into a row pretty soon. And some get frustrated and impatient with the due diligence process. While projects do need to have an end and a deadline, make time your ally, not your enemy.

There really is a miracle here, however. It is the hard work miracle. You do the diligence and stay at it. Look for opportunities, clarity and wisdom. That results in miraculous outcomes. Get involved, do the homework, and see what outcomes occur from your efforts.