Dr. John Townsend

Dr. John Townsend and his team offer executive coaching, corporate consulting, and leadership training in a variety or programs. Join us today!

Archives for May 2017

Key People Skills Essential for a Leader

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Neuroscience and performance research always comes down to two groups of skill sets that are necessary for a leader to succeed.

The first group is task skills. These are the “doing” aspects of running the organization, involving primarily guarding the mission, messaging the vision, setting the strategy, creating the structure, systems and operations, and ensuring execution. Every leader must know and monitor these.

The second group is people skills. These are the “relating” aspects, which center on creating inspiration, trust, healthy culture, challenge and team development. These skills are sometimes called the soft skills, but they actually are not. They are replicatable, research-based and metrically-proven skills that are just as critical as the task skills.

In my experience, most leaders are somewhere between 60-40 to 90-10, task over relationship. Their training has lent itself to strategy, metrics and accountability. But as the research continues to come out, it is increasingly important for the leader to learn several specific people abilities which drive everything. Here are the top 3:

Listening well. While leaders must clarify roles and expectations, they must also “read between the lines.” All too often, we let our people talk, but in our minds, we are formulating our response to them before they are finished. I often have my clients paraphrase what others are saying, asking, “Do I get your point of view now?”, before they respond.

Being professionally vulnerable. Leaders have been taught to be bulletproof, and not show weakness, for fear of discouraging their people. However, we are finding that people are actually drawn more to a boss who is open about their weaknesses and failures, and lets them know that they are working on improving.

Being direct and yet connected. Great leaders get right to the point when they have to say a hard truth to a direct. But they do not disconnect from their warmth and their care for their people. This is called integration, the ability to be honest and yet emotionally present. It is more difficult than you think. Learn to keep your eye contact and your connectedness, even during the tough talks.

Strategy and people skills integrate for the best performance. Best to your leadership.

 

Leadership and Relationships: The Two-Way Street

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I was talking with a CEO of a company and finding out how he was doing in his business and his life. I asked him, “How are things going in your personal relationships? Do you think you have enough good quality connections?”

“Sure I do”, he answered. “I’ve got some really great friendships.”

I said, “That’s great. Now, how many of those friends would you say are acquainted with your personal needs, dependencies and weaknesses?”

He was a thoughtful person, and after a pause, said, “Well, actually probably none. I mean, I enjoy spending time with them, and also helping support them in their lives. But that personal stuff is a little hard for me.”

I said, “Then this is probably a good growth point for your own work and life. You need some two-way relationships, that is, people who open up to you, and people to whom you open up.”

The conversation went on, but the man understood where we were going, and got the message. He went to work on his two-way relationships, and I think prevented a lot of train wrecks in his life and career.

Leaders are a special group of people, and many leaders share a common weakness: they tend to be better givers than receivers. That is, the role of leadership often has the power to skew you toward being too focused on providing support, help, encouragement and grace to others, while neglecting your own needs and life.

There is certainly a lot that is good about being a giving person. It is the model of God as giver of Life; and the second greatest command is to love others as ourselves (Matt. 22:39). But at the same time, we can’t give to others what we don’t possess. You can’t provide from an empty cup: “…what do you have that God hasn’t given you?…(I Cor. 4:7, NLT).”

Just as those people you care about in work, family in life, you also need the ingredients of help that you provide for them. Here are a few to look at, and ask yourself, am I requesting, and receiving these, as well as providing them?

  • Grace: someone being “for” you, and on your side
  • Love: someone you can go to when you’re feeling down, lonely or isolated
  • Acceptance: someone knowing your faults and weaknesses and cares about you anyway
  • Safety: someone who won’t judge or condemn you, but will understand your failings and walk alongside you
  • Comfort: someone who will pick you up when you are discouraged
  • Truth: someone who will give you feedback and guidance when you need it.

This is often a little tough for leaders to go out and develop. You might wonder if you’ll be seen in a negative light by others, or if somehow needing these elements will disqualify you from leadership. You may even think leaders need to be strong all the time.

Check these perceptions out with a healthy, growing leader whom you respect and admire. My money will be on the probability that they will tell you, “It’s just the opposite. A large part of my success is due to my having people in my life that I open up to. It gives me strength, acceptance, motivation and direction.”

So look around in your life and start adding another direction to those one-way, all-giving relationships in your life and work! God bless

How Counselors Work with the Townsend Leadership Program (TLP)

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If you are interested in increasing your practice and revenues by using your counseling skills, think about applying to become a Townsend Leadership Program (TLP) Director.   We have found that counselors who become Directors experience excellent results because of their training in attunement, healing and diagnostics. Leaders especially need a confidential place to grow in their personal and professional lives. Here’s a little information about the program:

The model is a group-based leadership training experience, in which a Director takes their team of leaders, from all sorts of industries, through a monthly intensive day, for a year at a time. We will train you in the agenda for those days, including:

  • Helping them set stretch goals for the year
  • Engaging with John’s monthly video content regarding leadership growth
  • Facilitating team process groups where they can be vulnerable and experience growth at a deep level
  • Having work sessions where they use the team to solve organizational challenges
  • Assigning meaningful homework to them to keep the growth going
  • Providing monthly individual coaching sessions for them between team days.

In addition, a huge growth opportunity awaits the professionally trained clinician and a credentialed TLP Director. As outlined below, the benefits include:

  • Personal training by John and Elaine Morris, John’s business partner
  • Monthly videoconference calls with John and other directors
  • John’s proprietary content and marketing materials provided
  • Being part of a national community of TLP Directors with vast knowledge and varied backgrounds and experiences
  • Opportunity for corporate coaching, training, and consulting with your TLP members

So connect with us and find out how your impact as a counselor can grow!